You’re standing outside the school gates.

Blazers. Crests. Latin mottos.

A sense of pride and status.

Fees that quietly rival a second mortgage.

And the thought sits there, unspoken, in the back of your mind:

“Was this worth it?”

The Pitch

Private schools pitch a great upside:

• Smaller class sizes
• Better facilities
• Stronger academic results
• Better university and job prospects
• A valuable network for life

The Unspoken Part – Cost

Whilst there are some cheaper ones – like The Independent Grammar School: Durham at £5,580 per year.

There are also some bloody expensive ones like Brighton College – around £65,000 a year for a full board – I don’t think many of the parents who send their kids to Brighton, Harrow and Westminster are worrying about the fees, but you never know.

The Good Schools Guide tells us: that:

Average private day fee = £19000 / year

Average private boarding fee = £50,000 / year

Fees also tend to rise in cost each year (maybe they anticipate having to feed the kids more as they grow?)

So for ease let’s say:

• £20,000 per year
• 7 years (secondary school only)

That totals £140,000 per child

Two kids? £280,000.

And that’s just fees. No extras. There will be school trips, sports equipment, music lessons, holidays with the rich friends they make.

And you now have to add the new VAT charge which most private schools will most likely be kindly passing onto their parents.

What could that money have done if used elsewhere?

Invested over time

If you stuck the money for one child in a global stock index fund over 7 years and assumed an 8% average rate of return you would end up with £180,102.77

Two children? 360,205.54

Now that 8% is certainly not a guaranteed return, but if you had done it over the last 7 years you would have probably done better than that.

Used as a house deposit

If you then gave the above (or even the amount without interest) to your child instead they have a chunky deposit to buy a decent first house, hopefully without an exuberant mortgage.

Supporting your child in their 20s or through university.

How much our young generation are shafted by student loan interest is a hot topic currently. Saving those private school fees will give you enough to bank roll their time at uni and still have plenty left on the side. They then will be able to get a paycheque without the pain of giving so much of it back to the government for their student loan.

Reducing your own financial stress

Don’t forget about yourself. Could you use it as a house deposit yourself, or an extension, a new roof, that safari you’ve always dreamed of? It’s worth considering what you will have to sacrifice to make those fees available.

The point here is that this isn’t a small decision. We are often told that the two biggest financial decisions you make are regarding our houses and cars. Well if you’re a parent I’m adding a third – private school fees.

It’s one of the biggest financial choices you’ll ever make.

The middle-class squeeze

This is where people get caught.

You’re not ultra-wealthy, (again most of those whose children are at Eton are not worrying about this.)

So private school fees actually hurt.

You can afford it…

But only by:

• Sacrificing savings
• Delaying investing
• Adding financial pressure
• Saying no to other things

So you end up in a strange position:

You look wealthy… but feel stretched

Sound familiar?

The status trap (again)

Just like cars, this isn’t purely rational.

If you are one of the lucky people who read my last article you will be familiar with my opinion on the status trap when it comes to what car you own – and the pressures that occur when a renewal is due.

There is the same vicious cycle with private schools.

Once your child is in?

It’s incredibly hard to pull them out.

So you commit again.

Year after year.

I remember hearing a story when I was younger from a friend who went to private school.

One of the parents had been leasing a car whenever they had to pick up their child from school as they were ashamed of their actual one – that is absolutely bonkers.

What about state schools?

This is where nuance matters.

There are:

• Excellent state schools
• Average private schools

How do you know which is which? The hard part is that how good a school is can be fluid and often heavily influenced by the current headteacher.

I went to a great state primary school that ticked all the boxes. Now my childhood friends who still live there are driving their kids to the next town as the school has gone down the pan.

Is there a middle ground?

Private tuition

If your motives are purely academic this may actually be a better choice

Costs will depend on the subject and whether you want it to be in person or online, but let’s take an average private tuition cost of £40 an hour.

You want your child to excel in 3 subjects which bring you to £120 a week. Lets give them a week off at Christmas and Easter as well as 6 off in the summer, that makes £5280 a year per child.

For 7 years. £36960.

Certainly not cheap, but a lot less than the fees above.

Is private tuition effective?

It didn’t do me much good as a child, but then again I don’t think I’m the best example of academic dedication.

What I would say is that many children will not be fully focused on an evening’s tuition after they have done a full day at school.

Do the kids even want to go?

Expectations on children

After spending that much on a child’s education there is an implication (whether actually spoken or not) that they will go on to get a ‘good’ job - I’m thinking Doctor, Lawyer, Finance Bro etc.

However, what if your child wants to do a trade, be a teacher, go travelling or the worst of all possible outcomes - make it as an artist….

The point is are you placing undue pressure on your children by giving them such an expensive education and it may be kinder to give them the money to spend on other things, and let them follow whatever they want to, and feel comfortable doing so.

Social mobility goes two ways

Yes, your children may make themselves (and possibly you) some great contacts for life. They may climb that greasy social ladder.

They may even get lucky and marry into the royal family – actually is that now considered unlucky?

What they won’t do is meet children from the backgrounds they would have done at state school.

Parents need to manage this and make sure their children have relationships with other children from all walks of life. External sports clubs are a great way to do this.

We’ve all watched that politician on the TV who clearly has no idea how the other half actually live.

It’s not all bad

I’m suddenly conscious that this is starting to sound like a private school hit piece – it’s not (entirely). In the right circumstances it can seriously work out.

Look at Rishi Sunak, his parents were a GP and Pharmacist. That’s a nice combined wage that could lead to a very comfortable life. However, they sent him to Winchester College which would have certainly led to some sacrifices considering they had 3 children to bring up.

But look at the returns! Rishi went on to give the entire country discounted meals if we left our houses….

….. and also became Prime Minister, something that his parents should be incredibly proud of.

Is it worth it? The Ultimate Bet.

So to talk about the ultimate bet, I must give you the ultimate cop-out.

There isn’t really a right answer – it’s a bet.

Sending your child to private school might be the best decision you ever make, it could also be a terrible one.

You need to consider the downside before you sign up to it and ask yourself how your life will be affected if it doesn’t go to plan.

If it’s a manageable loss, then you can start weighing up the pros and cons.

If making that sacrifice and not having the desired outcomes for your child would be a crushing blow, it may be better to take a pass on private schools.

Adam’s advice

• Be honest about why you want your kids to go to private school
• Run the full cost over time (it’s bigger than you think)
• Consider what that money could do if used elsewhere
• Don’t assume private = better outcomes
• If it stretches your finances, think twice